We're owl exterminators (shadow_hive) wrote,
We're owl exterminators

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Look At You Now Part 1

Look At You Now
Pairing: Jay James/Ray Toro
Rating: NC-17
POV: Jay
Warnings: AU, bdsm, amputation (in part 2)
Notes: So, ages ago I commissioned fossilfish over on tumblr to do some art of amputee!Jay. I always meant to do a fic based on it, in fact I had two versions started, but never finished either one. (One had Calvin Roffey while the second had Ashley Purdy, though they had the same fic as a basis) So I guess I’m trying it again, starting from scratch this time so it’s different from those. (And the first halfish is much different)
Notes 2: It’s been months since I have wrote anything. Losing someone I considered to be one of my best friends killed my urge to write, especially something like this. But I dunno. This has taken a few weeks to do in slow bursts. Thanks so much Ezra for encouraging me to write again
Notes 3: So part 1 is very... tame compared to its inspiration but, ah well. Second part will have the good stuff

I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself anymore. I had loved being in Bullet, loved playing music and touring all over, performing in front of all our fans. The one thing that I didn’t love was Tuck. Let’s face it, our lead singer could be an arrogant, self centred dick. It had gotten worse over the years but I dealt with it for the most post, we all did.

And then for our last album he and Moose went off to start the album without us. I knew then that meant he didn’t care about us, that he would discard us given the chance.

Despite that, I stayed, although it gnawed at me. By the time the tour cycle for the album ended, I knew I couldn’t stay. So I left before I could be discarded.

I had hoped, at first, that I could join another band or form one. Several bands in the Welsh scene had recently broke up, The Blackout and Funeral For A Friend most notably, so I put my feelers out to see if anyone was interested. Alas, though, no one was, at least not yet anyway.

I’d considered trying to start something up myself but I felt that I couldn’t start a whole band alone. I’d need someone else, anyone, to help get things started.

So for now I was just alone, waiting for someone to be ready.

I sat in front of my laptop, scrolling through random pages to pass the time. I wasn’t only looking for band mates but for... companionship. On tour I could have some fun, with Padge or Moose, or maybe one of the bands we toured with. But now, we’ll, I’d not had any action in awhile.
Maybe I should get out, head to a gay bar and something to hook up with someone. I didn’t feel like it though. Instead I was on a website, where people would look for doms or subs. That was what I wanted. Not just a hookup, but something more. I longed for a man to control me, to make me surrender to him completely.

I sighed softly, clicking through to look if there were any new guys looking for subs. The last few times I’d looked there weren’t too many in the uk. There were a few in Scotland and London, with others scattered around the country but none here in Wales. Tonight, though, there was a new guy listed, one that wasn’t just in Wales but in Bridgend.

I took a breath and clicked on the entry that they had made, eager to see what they posted. As soon as the page loaded up my eyes scanned the words.

‘I’m new to the area, having recently moved here from the US. I am looking for a sub, ideally someone who has had some experience as I have no interest in training a virgin. I’m wanting someone who will, ideally, become my fully time sub.

If that sounds like something you would be interested in, send me a message. I don’t have a specific type, just send me a picture of yourself with your message and we will go from there.’

I clicked on his profile. It was new, created just yesterday and there wasn’t much in the way of info there. His username was simply Toro, with no indication if it was a name or nickname. There was a date of birth, 11/7/77, along with a few other areas filled in, like location. I bit my lip, considering if I should send him a message. He was the only guy that had been anywhere near me and if I acted quick maybe I could grab his attention.

I hit the message button then quickly typed up a response.

‘Hello sir. I just saw your post asking for a sub to get in contact. My name is Jay and I live in Bridgend. I am very interested in becoming a sub full time, if you deem me worthy. I don’t have any limits and I’m certainly not a virgin. I’ve included a few pics of myself for you.

I hope to hear from you soon.’

I attached a few pictures before hitting send. One was just a regular recent one, a selfie I’d taken just a few days ago. The other was a full frontal nude, which was a little older but still recent.

As soon as the words ‘message sent’ appeared on the screen I settled back in my seat and wondered what this Toro was like. As my mind drifted, I reached down between my legs and pulled out my dick.


I heard back from him pretty quickly, a few hours after I sent my message. He was interested in me and had sent his own pictures in return. He was very handsome, with a head of thick, dark brown curls, plump, full lips and an impressive looking cock.

Over the following days we went back and forth with our messages. Toro was his name, his last one anyway, and his first name was Ray. He’d moved because he was getting sick of America and he’d come into money. We also exchanged a few more pictures of each other.

After a week we agreed to meet up, and I had to admit I was pretty nervous. I was sat in the corner booth of one of the town’s pubs, nursing a glass of beer as I waited for him to show up. I had come early, not wanting to be late, not that it was a problem since it wasn’t far from where I lived. Every few minutes I’d look over at the door, keeping an eye out for him.

He arrived right on time, looking just like the picture he had sent. Fuck, he was so handsome. I swallowed and waved at him, earning a smile in response. He strode over to the bar, ordering himself a drink before making his way over to me, looking me over before sitting opposite me. “Hello Jay.” He said, the smile still on those plump lips as he set his glass down on the table between us.

“Hi Ray.” I returned his smile with one of my own. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” He nodded and took a drink from his glass, each of us regarding the other as he did. I was a little out of practice with small talk so I was glad when he spoke up. “I watched some of your videos. You’re a skilled bassist.”

“Thanks.” I smiled, not having expected him to check out any of Bullet’s videos. I’d mentioned I was in a band during our conversations and he’d been interested.

He leaned forward, lowing his voice. “I really enjoyed your screams.” The way he said it made me squirm a little in my seat, due to the implication that it hinted at. The smirk on his lips let me know exactly what he was thinking. “You’ll have to give me a live performance.”

“Yeah of course.” I nodded in response, then quickly added. “Anything you want sir.”

He nodded slightly, that smirk still on his lips as he settled back in his seat. As we drank our drinks we made small talk, with him taking the lead. We talked about how we’d got here, how he was finding living in another country and a few other general things.

As soon as he finished his beer he fixed me with that intense stare of his. “I want you to come home with me.” He paused, studying me for a moment. “That is, if you want.” He leaned over the table lowering his voice. “Though I can see in your eyes you want to. I can see the need.”

I nodded, his words turning me on. “Yes, please.”

A smirk, and then he rose from his seat and I knew I was expected to follow.


While I didn’t live far from the pub, his places was a few miles away out on the edge of town. His house stood alone, with a high wall surrounding it. A gate across the driveway was the only way in, and it was locked with a code that he quickly keyed in. It was clear that once I was in the only way out was if he allowed it.

As he drove us up the drive I got a good look at the house. It was obvious that it was a new, modern build and I wondered if he’d had it specially built for him. “It’s a nice place you have here.”

“Thanks.” He replied with a smile, pulling up into his garage. After turning off the ignition, we unbuckled our seatbelts and got out, heading into the house as the electronic garage door closed behind us.

Once we were in the living room of the main house, he stopped and turned to face me. “Here is what is going to happen tonight.” His tone was commanding as he spoke. “I’m going to try you out to see how you’d handle being my slut. If I’m satisfied with your performance then I’ll give you the option of becoming my slut full time. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” I replied and he smiled, nodding in satisfaction.

“Strip. I want to see you.” As he spoke, he sat in one of the chairs in the room, fixing me with an intense stare.

I moved closer to stand before him and then I reached down, opening up my jacket and pushing it off my arms. I looked to Ray and he nodded to another chair, indicating that’s where I should put my clothing. I tossed my jacket over to it, then reached down to tug on my tee. I was grateful he’d not asked for a striptease, because I knew I was utterly hopeless at making striping look sexy. The last time I’d tried I’d been half drunk and tripped over my jeans.

My tee soon joined my jacket, so that my upper half was exposed for him. I could feel his eyes on me, appraising my body as I bent down to remove my shoes. He’d already seen all of me by now, but there was a difference between pictures on a screen and having a warm body in front of you. Once my shoes were off and pushed to one side I worked on undoing the zipper of my fly. Once I popped the button I pushed them down my legs, leaving me fully bare for him. I’d not bothered with wearing underwear, hoping things would turn out this way. I picked my jeans up from around my ankles, depositing them with the rest of my clothing.

I took a deep breath, then turned so that I was standing right in front of him. He looked me up and down, studying every inch of my body that was visible to him. “Turn around.” He said, circling his forefinger in the air as he spoke.

Of course, I did as instructed, turning around so he could view me from behind. He’d not seen clear pictures of my ass before. I could never get the angle right to get decent pictures. After a few moments he spoke up again, breaking the silence that had settled between us. “Nice ink slut.” I knew he was referring to my lizard tattoo between my shoulder blades. It was one of my first tattoos and a lot of guys liked it.

“Thank you sir.” I replied, my voice soft as I heard him get up from his seat. He stepped closer to me, my body shivering in anticipation. I felt him reach out and touch me, his fingertips tracing my tattoo, then down, along my spine. Once they at the top of my cleft, they shifted to stroke the curves of my cheeks.

“Nice ass too. Soft. Plump.” He slapped my right cheek and I gasped in surprise and heard him chuckle. “Yes, you’ll definitely do nicely.” Those last words were whispered in my ear, his curls tickling my neck. I could feel myself breathe slightly heavier, my eyes lidding. He ran his tongue along my neck, nipping at my ear when he got back there. “When did you last have something here?” His fingers ghosted along my crack, indicating exactly what he meant.

“A few weeks ago.” I replied, taking a deep breath through my nose. I had a few toys, though I rarely used them on myself. Mostly it was laziness on my part. When I got horny and needed to wank, I just got my dick out and started stroking, letting my mind wander. Sometimes I’d think about past encounters which had happened while I was in the band, with my band mates or other band dudes. Other times my mind would think about other guys, ones I’d never met or ones I had, but hadn’t fucked.

“Hmm, much too long.” He shifted back from me, his hand leaving me but I still felt his presence close to me. He wrapped something around my throat, buckling it behind my neck. A collar, that much was obvious, leather maybe. “There.” He kissed just above it. “Follow me.”

He stepped around me so he was in front of me, leading me out of the room' flicking the light off as he did. I followed a few paces behind him as he led me through his home. We went upstairs, into a bedroom, though I wasn’t sure if it was his main bedroom or not. “Now, stay there.”

I nodded and watched him as he undressed, setting every article of clothing on top of a dresser. Unlike me he didn’t have any tattoos or piercings. He had strong, muscular arms, that I hoped he would soon use on me. His belly was nicely rounded, much like my own and he had a trail of hair down from his belly button to his crotch. Thick curls surrounded his dick, which was semi hard, though I suspected it was as big as my own already. Once he was naked, he got on the bed, spreading his legs so that he was fully on display for me.

“Come here and suck me.” I didn’t need telling twice. I got on the bed, between those thick thighs of his and I took his dick in hand, angling it towards my face. I extended my tongue, swiping it across the tip before I enveloped it with my lips, slowly inching down on it. Even though I was a little out of practice I was a natural born cocksucker. With his impressive cock in my mouth I was more glad than ever that I didn’t have a gag reflex.

“Fuck...” He groaned above me as I took him down fully, my nose pressed into his curls. He reached down, running his fingers through my hair, the simple contact making me purr around his dick. How I’d missed this. The weight of a cock on my tongue. The taste of it. The way it filled me just right. I savoured every moment as I bobbed my head up and down, my tongue lapping at him in all the right ways.

Every few moments I’d draw back, until just the head was in my mouth. I’d take a breath through my nose, running my tongue along his slit and then go back down. All the while I held onto his thick, strong thighs, humming softly around his length. My mind always went to our songs when I did this, especially Fever. I’d hum the bass line to it, especially to the ‘you look so beautiful down on your knees’ part.

I looked up at him, his eyes were on me, watching as I sucked him off. His plump lips were parted, letting out the occasional moan. After a few blissful minutes, his hand on my head gripped my hair and pulled me off. I let out a soft groan at the loss and he smirked. “You sure know what to do with that pretty little mouth of yours. Now lets try out that ass.”

He released my hair and reached over to grab the lube from the bedside table. He popped it open one handed, with an ease that obviously came from practise. He squirted some of the thick fluid onto his other hand, spreading it over his fingers. “Turn around.”

I nodded and sat up, turning around so that my ass was facing him. “Good boy, now hold yourself open.” I reached back around, taking a cheek in each hand and I pulled them apart, exposing my hole for him. A few moments later I felt his slick fingertips press against it. They circled around my opening for a few moments, before pressing into me. I gasped at the intrusion, my eyes lidding as he filled me with them.

Both of his fingers worked me open, thrusting and stretching me in preparation for his dick. I wished that I’d used one of my toys recently, that I wasn’t so out of practice, but there was no helping it now. He pulled them back, drawing them out of me only to thrust them back with a third digit. I took a deep, steadying breath, my dick aching from the way his fingers filled me, his tips bumping against my spot.

Then just like that, his fingers withdrew from me completely. I whimpered and heard him let out a soft chuckle at my desperation. “Don’t worry my new slut, you’ll be filled with something much better soon.”

The bedsprings creaked as I felt him move behind me, his legs shifting from either side of me. Soon after that, his hands were on me, pushing me down over the bed, effortlessly manhandling me into the position he wanted. My ass was up in the air as he got between my legs, his hands prising my cheeks apart. “Ready?”

“Yes sir.” I nodded, my dick aching against the sheets in anticipation. I wanted, no, needed this, more than anything in my life. “Please.” The word left my lips, a soft, desperate plea.

He let out a low chuckle, the head of his cock pressing against my exposed opening. “As you wish slut.” As soon as he said that he thrust into me, a groan escaping my lips at the feeling. My eyes lidded again as he filled me up, his fingers gripping me tightly. It wasn’t long before he was balls deep in me. He stayed still, with his dick full inside me for a few moments, before he started to move.

At first, his movements were slow. He drew out of me, then slammed back in, making me groan each time he did. Steadily his movements became faster, rougher. Each thrust made the bed springs creak beneath us, made my body ache. Every movement of his hips made his dick catch the spot deep inside of me, that made me moan, that made me thrust my hips against the sheets.

“Look at you slut. Rutting against the sheets like the whore you are.” All I could do was groan in response, my insides twitching around his shaft. A hand ran up my back, along my spine to my hair again, gripping it tight and pulling my head back. “Touch yourself slut.”

I nodded as best I could with his hand gripping me and I shifted my hips slightly, enough so I could reach between my legs. Grasping my dick, I started to stroke myself, as best I could given the angle. I’d not need to stroke myself too much though, his cock fucking me alone would probably be enough to get me off. I already felt myself getting closer every time he slammed into me.

After a few more minutes, a low growl left him, his thrusts getting harder and more erratic. I’d been with enough guys to know what that meant. “Cum for me my new slut.” He growled, sounding breathless. It only took a couple of thrusts for me to do just that, spilling against the sheets beneath me.

It was a amazing feeling, one of the most intense orgasms of my life. I could feel my whole body tremble as he hammered into me, drawing out his own orgasm. I wasn’t quite sure when it happened exactly, but between one of the groans and growls he made I knew he’d had to have filled me too.

He eased out of me after a little while, climbing onto the bed before me. “Clean me off, then we can get some rest.” His voice was breathless, even more so than before, so I nodded and got to work, licking his softening dick clean. “Mmm you’ve done well. I think you’ll make me a great new slut.” The words filled me with pride and, as I finished licking him clean, I’d never felt so content.
Tags: bullet for my valentine, fic, jay james, my chemical romance, ray toro, slash
  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic