We're owl exterminators (shadow_hive) wrote,
We're owl exterminators

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Screaming for something

I didn't call mum last night, so she decided to call this morning. Although she didn't talk to me I know that what she said was basicallyl all moaning with hardly any pauses for breath.

The trip up town just made me want things. Fuck having no money.

Last night thwere was a weird scrape thing on the glass outside. We didn't know what it was and we still don't, but it scared me.

The Tv downstairs pisses me off. Too many wires.

The Wicker Man is weird.

Once again I have that feeling that I'm just... useless down here. Mostly cause I can't write anything. I haven't written anything properly in... what? As good as month now? I've got 9 multi-part fics to finish and goddess knows how many standalones. When I set myself time to write I get distracted. Partly cause it can take me hours to even get going, partly as I spend the first hour plus checking the sites I normally go on. Then there's the longer I'm on, the worse I feel and I can hardly write write (as in put pen to paper) especially with the multi-parts. Then I can never seem to stay up at nights here too, or at least up and online.

I refuse to give it up, cause it's one of the very few things that keep me sane. It's just so hard to get anything done down here. Worse, when I am down here it's for a longggggg time and it keeps getting longer, so when I do get back the ideas in my head are often long gone or it's been so long since the last part of a multi-part one people will've lost interest or forgotten about it completely. It's part of the reason why i do all these polls, to see if there's still interest.

I keep putting things off too, especially when I'm here due to the ever-changing leaving day.

Although I'm meant to be going back Thursday, I'm gonna try and do a bit tonight/tomorrow. Not right now though, I feel far too cold in here.
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