Love Pairings: Gerard/Mikey, with lots of mentions of Bob/Ray Rating: PG-13 POV: Mikey Notes: I hate the title. I rattled this out really quickly. After listening to Famous Last Words I just got it into my head Warnings; ...brief references to sex, it's mostly fluffy though... I'm quite scared. Dedications: antontobias86 and everyone who reads, I promise to do other fics now London was a myriad of bright lights and skyscrapers. Even at 4am the city was still alive. Cars still drove down the streets which were lighted by street lamps. People, that looked like ants from up here, staggered along the pavement to their homes. Some office, apartment and hotel windows were still lit up showing that some of the city's citizen's suffered insomnia. I couldn't sleep, content to gaze out over the cityscape through the hotel window and smoke the night away. Normally I'd spend nights in bed sleeping, often after having sex, but mostly I was just curled up beside my brother, often with an arm draped over his chest. Now I couldn't sleep. Maybe it was jetlag or maybe it was all my thoughts dancing around inside my head. I sighed softly, pulling my robes tighter around me. I'd been thinking a lot recently. I'm not sure why, I just have. I think about the most random things. Right now I'm thinking about love. How strange and how special love is. Some people don't believe in love, but I've come to believe in it. Let me give an example. Ray and Bob. Two different people right? If you looked at them you wouldn't ever picture them as a couple and yet they are. I've known Ray for years now and since he's been with Bob he's been different. Bob somehow completes him. Ray somehow completes Bob. It's like they're pieces from a little jigsaw puzzle and both fit just right. They need each other, they rely on each other. It was never more clear then when Bob almost died. Ray spent every waking moment at that hospital. Sure, the whole band did, but Ray was the only one of us that stayed awake the whole time. He drank amounts of coffee that I'd previously thought only I could manage. Despite assurances from all of us and doctor's that he'd be ok, he seemed to assume the worst. That was until the doctor came to us after surgery and told us that everything had gone fine. The look on Ray's face will always stay with me. It was relief mixed with joy. Except it was something more, as if a huge weight of worry and fear had been lifted off his shoulders. When he next saw Bob he refused to let go of him. Bob just took it in his stride, like he always did with everything. In a way I was jealous of them. Of their love. Jealous of how Ray was determined to spend every moment with Bob. Of how he had confided in me and Frankie a few days ago that he wanted to ask Bob to marry him. He's got it all planned and wanted us to pick a ring. Well, I say us, he wanted me to pick and Frankie overheard so it became the three of us. Picking an engagement ring isn't as easy as you'd think, especially when it's for someone like Bob. Bob has no real preference when it comes to jewellery. Therefore it took us a day going around jewelers to find one that we all agreed he'd like. As soon as it was bought we rushed back to the hotel to find that my brother had taken Bob on a shopping trip all his own. I half suspected that he'd been in on Ray's plan and had been tasked with keeping Bob busy all day. Apparently it had worked. I knew Ray was going to ask him tomorrow at dinner and we all knew the answer he'd get. Of course the person I loved I could never ask that question to. I was in love with my brother but I wasn't sure if he loved me as much as I loved him. Sure we were together. We kissed and made out. We dated and had wild passionate sex afterward. But I didn't know if he loved me like I did. I sighed softly, blowing a cloud of smoke out into the air in front of me. I often wondered if he didn't love me, but just didn't want to break his little brother's heart.