June 8th, 2007

ROTS Padme Ruminations

And the world will turn to Ash

So today started off slightly wrong. The trousers are the tightest pair I've ever had (now I know how Ryan and Mikey feel like). Also the fly isn't sewn up right, so the zipper comes right off when I move it. Joy. Also, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. Each shoe I found was missing the other one. Thankfully I found a pair, though they were falling apart inside and hadn't been worn in years. Also the eyeliner's done a walkabout and it decided to be overcast in the morning (so I wore a shirt) but it became hotter as the day went on. Bah.

So at almost half 10, I went over the road and waited a few minutes for the cars to come. I've never been inside a funeral cortege before. It's kinda strange. It was too quiet and, even though the coffin was in the herse in front of us, I still can't quite believe it all. I spent the trip staring out the window and watching the fields go by.

Once we got there it was weird. Mum started crying and I did a little too, though it was mostly little tears, nothing like how mum's were.

One thing I hate about funeral's is how godly they seem to be made. That's all well and good if the person that died was a religious person, but grandad wasn't. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as the last funeral we went to, where the vicar was miserable and said absolutely nothing about who died. At least our one had made an effort to ask about grandad and actually talk about him, which was good.

Something she said really struck me though. That as soon as nan went into hospital, grandad just gave up. It's so true and that made me cry.

Soon after it started, I got up to say my thing. Now I'm shit at public speaking but I was determined to do this (and when I get determined to do something nothing can stop me). I wanted to speak for two main reasons. First was that this happened so quickly that I never got a chance to say goodbye to him in person. The second reason was cause I knew nan wasn't going to be there, so I felt like something had to be said for her. So I got up in front of everyone, took out my bit of paper and did my thing. Sure, my voice was shaky out of nerves, but I did it.

My cousin decided to sing. Loudly and out of tune. Why didn't I take ear plugs?

We then went outside after the ceremony and people talked in hushed voices. Some said I was brave to say something or things along those lines. I don't see how though.

Afterwards we went to the wake-thing, which was basically sitting in the corner, drinking and eating the free food. We kept out the way of everything until people left, then we made our way home with the flowers and to let Danny out. All in all it wasn't too bad.

I saw unicorns on the way back and called mum to get them on her way and she did. There was even one more then I'd seen so yay< 3

I'm now back on Neopets.

I got slightly inspired earlier, so new fic is open. I hope some's ready for tomorrow.

Anyone got Franz Ferdinand's album? (I thought about another album too earlier, but I've forgot it now).
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