All this thinking about gav has reminded me how somepeople thought I was being foolish to want him, to care about him, to love him. Maybe I am, maybe I was. But it wasn't my choice, wasn't my decision. I can't get rid of it, no matter how hard I try I'll always want him. Don't like that? Then fuck off. It's how I feel and I have no choice now. Why? Because no one fucking bothered to even try to tear it outta me. No one bothered to try and stop me when it would have worked. No one. So don't try now. Never try now.