We're owl exterminators (shadow_hive) wrote,
We're owl exterminators
shadow_hive

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Alone

Alone
Pairing: Calvin Roffey/Jay James
Rating: NC-17
POV: Calvin
Prompt: 25: Unrequited Love
Warnings: Toys
Notes: Inspired by the pic of Calvin with dildo... I dunno how it became this though.

Thrust. Thrust. I bit my lip to stifle a moan, even though it was unecessary to keep quiet. The advantages of a hotel night it meant that we should do this without interuption. I stroked myself a little harder, my eyes squeezing shut behind my glasses. Thrust. "Ugh..." Thrust. My hips jerked up and I let out a low groan as I released over my inked chest, panting. "Fuck Jay..."

My eyes slowly opened, the images that had filled my mind slowly fading. I was alone. I scooped the cum from my chest, licking it from my fingers as I slowly removed the toy from my ass. I closed my eyes and rolled onto my side, trying not to think of what I was missing.

Although how could I miss something I never actually had?

When I joined as Bullet's tech I didn't know the band all that well, but I did like their music. It wasn't long before this infatuation started. Jay was sweet and kind and funny... and hot as fuck. Sure the others were as well, but there was something about Jay. Some days I wished I knew exactly what thta thing was.

I started jerking off thinking about him fairly early on. The others too. It was fairly easy to imagine the four of them getting drunk and well, one thing leading to another. It wasn't long before my thoughts were proven right.

Which presented an odd problem. Before seeing him on his knees, giving Padge a blow job, he'd been unattainable. For all I'd known he could've been straight (a thought which is laughable now) but seeing him like that meant I had a chance with him. And yet, it changed nothing. After seeing him like that I could easily have asked him for something, anything but I didn't. Why? A mix of things. I was shy and afraid of rejection so I did nothing.

Not only that, but as time went on I noticed he was practically anyone's. So why had he not shown any interest in me? Did it mean he didn't want me?

In the end all seeing him like that did was give me more wank material.

That was where the dildo came in. I'd gotten it on the third tour. It was creamish rubber, the shaft roughly the same size as Jay's dick. For some reason the rubber was pink around the head which puzzled me but I didn't care enough to let it bother me. The shaft ended at a rounded base which was large enough to prevent the thing getting stuck.

I sighed, gazing at the toy, thinking of all the times I'd used it, thinking of him. I used it once, sometimes twice a week. Most of the time I'd just wank because it was easier, especially on buses. On buses a discrete wank was much easier than trying to thrust a toy, especially in the limited space of a bunk. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to settle for the night, hoping that sleep would rid me of thoughts of him, and my messed up situation at least for awhile anyway.

I took my glasses off, folding them up and setting them beside the dildo, drifting off.

***

A trail of hot, wet kisses made their way down my body, over my inked chest, his tongue flicking out to trace parts of the tattoo. I griped the sheets, a moan leaving my lips as he looked up at me, his eyes dark and sparkling. I felt myself twitch and he smiled, moving further down until... "Fuck..." I bucked up, unable to help it, as his lips wrapped around my length. I swallowed my head tipping back as he took more of me down, easily taking me all. "Fuck..." I whispered again, as he started to move, bobbing up and down, his tongue flicking against me. Fuck, he was so good with his mouth. I bucked up, but felt his palms on my thighs, holding me down. He smiled around me and kept moving, slowly sucking on my length.

He shifted back and my dick slipped out from between his lips. I whimpered at the loss, but he purred, his breath ghosting over my wet dick. "Need you." I opened my eyes a little, watching as he moved on the bed, straddling my waist. He smiled and reached behind himself, taking hold of my length and easing himself down onto it. "Fuck..." He whispered, heading tipping back as he impaled himself on my length.

I filled him easily and soon he was setting a rhythm, rising up and down on my dick, head tipped back, his hands roaming my chest. It was all I could do not to cum then and there. I let go of the sheets, reaching between his legs and taking him in hand, jerking him off. The weight of hids dick felt perfect in my hand, much better than the rubber length. It pulsed and throbbed in my gripped, the feeling of it going straight to my own dick. My dick that was inside him, enveloped by his warm, tight heat.

"Oh Calvin..." His words went through me and I let go, shooting hard and deep inside him, watching his face twist in pleasure through half lidded eyes as he followed me over the edge...

I woke, hot and sweaty and covered in my own cum. Alone. It was all just a dream. Another fucking useless, hope fiilled dream. I growled, picking up the dildo and throwing it hard across the room, the toy bouncing off the wall and landing on the floor. I fell back against the bed, feeling myself start to sob.

Stupid, stupid fucking dreams.

I wished there was a way to get over this whole fucked up thing. Maybe...

***

Another night. Another gig. I was going to do it. I was going to tell him how I felt and maybe then I'd get this over with. Once I got it off my chest I might feel better. I just needed to get him somewhere where I could tell him. Trouble was with gig prep it meant he sent a lot of the time with the others and I didn't want to tell him where they'd here.

Soundcheck proved to be the time well between songs anyway. As Jay headed offstage leaving the others behind. "Jay?"

"Yeah, what is it man?" He asked looking at me with his smile on his lips the smile that made me melt.

And I lost it. "It's nothing really, just Padge sounded a little off there."

He smiled and shook his head. "I know man he should lay off the booze before we fucking play!" He said it loud enough that Padge could hear, which resulted in the guitarist flipping us off. I smiled and Jay patted my shoulder before heading off, leaving me to watch him go.

What stopped me? Well, now I had my fantasies and I could be close to the real thing. Telling him how I felt, well that'd mean I'd lose both and I'd rather not have that. I closed my eyes, shaking my head. What was I thinking off even considering telling him? I must have been crazy. No. Things will still as they are. Things are better off this way. Yeah.

I wiped a tear from my eyes, then returned my attention to the stage.
Tags: 35 fics, bullet for my valentine, calvin roffey, calvin roffey/jay james, fic, jay james, slash
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